I woke up Friday morning feeling exhausted. I didn’t have enough energy to stand up and take a bath. I DONNNTTTT HAVE ENOUGH REASONS TO GO! But I should show up in school for I still have a performance to do. I still have to act like a crazy woman. Yes. Crazy. I spent the night before contemplating if I can act smoothly in front of many people. Students and their parents will be there so I couldn’t believe the fact that I will act with such a crowd! That’s way beyyyoooonnnddd of my comfort zone.
I prepared my clothes. We need to bring a filipino attire and on the afternoon we need to wear our P.E uniform for there is an event but we have to go to school wearing our speech choir costume. Nothing’s more tiring for me that time. Continue reading “Buwan Ng Wika Celebration”
All my life, I keep hearing people telling me that truth hurts. I don’t understand before the meaning of that phrase. My old self’s principle was when you don’t like something, tell them. Simple. But at this point of my life, I finally found the true meaning of why the truth hurts.
She told me that it would be good if she will wait for the right time to say it so I promised myself not to expose it.I tried my best to keep it a secret. I lied to him thinking it was for the best. He’s my friend or maybe now, he was my friend.
He was crying earlier when she confronted him. They talked all their frustrations to each other while I sat inside the room praying and hoping it will turn out good. Then suddenly this happened.
“Nalain siya ninjo”
Three words enough to completely destroy my day. Do friends really need to tell each other everything even if it means it’ll destroy someone? That hits me like a truck. I realised I’ve been doing the right thing to the wrong person. Thinking I’m a fake friend for not telling the truth is absurd. I was waiting for her to confront him first because at the beginning I don’t have any involvement between that conflict. But feeling sorry and all, I did something that would be for the sake of everybody.
I swallowed my pride and asked sorry to him first. I explained my part even if I shouldn’t be explaining myself. But still, nothing happened. How long should I be like this? How long should I understand the attitudes of other people? When will this end? I keep telling myself to not let anger take over me. I should be the better man. I knew that I was the only one who can still think straight that time but it hurts knowing that I’ve done everything for his sake then this will be his pay.
Now he said sorry. I’m kinda relief because at least, we kind of fixed something. But should I really feel relief? Or should I fear the truth that this could be the end of a friendship?
Truth hurts because the people couldn’t grasp the reality of life. The reality of them. The people have this certain illusion about themselves thinking that’s how others see them, but that is not real. Look into a mirror and all you can see is your physical body, not your soul, not your attitude. The human mind tends to appreciate one’s self more than how others appreciate it. You, yourself, is having a hard time figuring out the insides of you. You cannot notice you’ve been doing that unless someone will break it up to you. That’s why the truth hurts. Because you’ll realise that the truths you’ve been believing for years were all lies.
bad or poor : of poor quality : not good or skillful
In order for us to start conducting our research paper, we must first make a letter for request and let our teacher in-charge and principal to sign it. We didn’t have any idea how to make a formal letter nor had any past experiences about it but since it’s for the grade (ugh) we tried making one.
We already printed it but first, we let him check our output. It was wrong. I didn’t bring my laptop so we stayed inside the faculty room and asked a teacher if we could borrow his laptop and thankfully, he agreed. We were two students just using a one, lag laptop. We made another and then it was wrong again! I was feeling the first sign of laziness in my body. I felt horrified. Continue reading “Lousy”
“Adto mo sa computer room inig lunch sa thursday”
Almost all of my classmates were excited when they heard the invitation of Pastor Paul this past Monday. Few days went by and tada! it’s already Thursday. My classmates were already preparing and can’t stop talking about the said event and I just sat there trying to ease the pain of dysmenorrhea (oops!) . I’ve been battling inside my mind whether I’ll go or not but someone just made me choose between the two.
“It’s obvious that you guys have some conflicts though you guys don’t want to state the obvious but not stating the obvious made it very obvious. It would be very helpful to all of you to go there for some counselling. Am I wrong or Am I very wrong?
He made me speechless again for the second time. I don’t know what to answer to him. I can’t spill even just a mere word! I know he’s been
watching observing us but I can’t believe he frankly told me that. Continue reading “Time-Out”
“Do you really have to have reasons when you love someone?”
Someone asked me that because we were discussing about the love of Maria Clara and Don Crisostomo Ibarra. I answered no. I think that’s the essence of love. You love him because you love him. End of story. Then I questioned him “Why? Because when you love someone you always have reasons?” he just said “I’m now finding reasons why I love her” . That left me speechless.
Do people really need to have reasons to answer the why-do-you-love-me question? I think that’s one of the reasons why many couples are breaking up. You might like her hair, her body, her pretty face, her skin, etc. but what if all those reasons will be gone? What if you both got into an accident and she doesn’t possess those sexy body, pretty face, fair skin and shiny hair anymore? Would you still love her? I guess not. I hope yes. Continue reading “No Reasons”
You are a masterpiece
Your love completes me
Your kisses are heaven
But like every masterpiece
You were broken
Like every glass
You were shattered
And just like everyone else
You’ve broken the pieces
You once completed.
You broke me.
You were once a masterpiece
And now, you’re just a piece
Waiting for someone
To call you a masterpiece, again.
So I’m currently reading Things We Know By Heart (my apologies for the blurred photo, too tired to take another shot haha!). Actually I’ve been trying to finish this book for I think the last 3 weeks but it was our exam week last week so I’m here stuck on Chapter 14 hahaha SHAME ON ME!
The book talks about a girl who wants to meet the receiver of the heart of her deceased boyfriend (is that even understandable? Lol) . So it’s a sacrificial and healing love concept. Read a few chapters and already hooked to it but because of the limited ability of my eyes (huhu) to read, I can’t finish it immediately! My old reading habits were already broken and now, I cant read until midnight unless I want to wake up the next morning throwing up for the whole day Arghh. So it’s a great read! Even more nice to read if you want to appreciate your life truly.
So below is just one of the thousands of beautiful and meaningful qoutes inside that book. Enjoy!
“Only humans laugh at their own misfortunes”
I just got home from school and I can’t think of anything to do except updating this blog, am I addicted already? haha! Though Im just really tired from the practice we had earlier and Im trying to find peace here lol.
But on a serious note, we have to present a speech choir for our school’s Buwan Ng Wika celebration and we only have less than two weeks to practice and it’s a one long bond paper, two columns LONG. WHAAATTTTTTT. And then there are misunderstandings, the burden of “perfection” and those hard-headed classmates, hayyy di najd sila mawala!
“Kaya rana” – someone told me that.
I really hope
I we can do it. I hope.
“Tabang, unsa man akong buhaton?”
I encountered that question a few days ago and the only thing that I answered was “Wala jod ko kabalo.”
I seriously don’t know how to answer every time someone asks me or wants to ask for some advice. I think the best way to do is to think about the things you’ve done in the past and how it resulted to that. I, myself, don’t know the real story so imagine how hard it is for someone who don’t even have a single idea about what’s happening to tell you what to do.
Asking some advice is a dangerous act. Either you’re the victim or the suspect, if that person first heard your side of the story, he/she will directly root for you and give you some advice that will only benefit you. I think that’s 65% true (based on my personal observations only hah!). It’s better to know first the cause of the problem and never let pride take over you.
To someone who asked me for help, I hope you already know the answer to your question. Remember, the heart never fails you. Just believe and pray for help.