Happy 16th, Self

It’s 10:12 and two more hours and its the end of my happy day. I was already going to sleep but I don’t want to end this day without writing.

As usual, people greeted me today. I know that it might only be a simple greetings to others but it really gave me a pinch of happiness. The thought that they really made time just to type those things and remembered my day, ugh it feels good.

Honestly, this day became extra special to me. I don’t know but “that” message made my day. It was sent at exactly 12 midnight and I hated myself for feeling kilig the moment I read it. Whyyy, why do you have to make me feel kilig the whole day? It’s terrifying to feel this way.

Buuut, so much for that. Since this is my day, I just want to typically talk about myself.

Last year was a rocky one. It definitely challenged my self-worth and my decision-making. I’ve experienced so many things with so many people that I couldn’t put it into words. To summarize it all, it was an upside down journey but thank you to the people who didn’t give up on me and still saw my potential and appreciated my flaws.

Before this day ends, I want to thank all the people who greeted me with love and sincerity. Those are for keeps. Thank you also for the people who made this day shine brighter for me. Though the past days were pretty stressful, you guys diverted my mood.

Lastly, Thank you, self, for surviving the past 15 years. We’ re gonna past through this year again and I hope that regardless of the circumstances, you’ll still be here fighting for your self. 🙂


I miss everyone.


As I listened to 2013 songs, it brought back memories. Memories that I shouldn’t remember nor recall but what can I do? Do I have to hit my head against the wall to forget all those things? I can’t. I won’t.

I felt the coldness of your hands and I thought maybe your heart is as cold as that hand. I don’t want to keep those fragrant moments, if possible I want to erase them immediately, but there’s something about your trembling hands that made my mind travel back to that exact time of our lives.

Why feel nervous all of a sudden? Nervous about the people watching? Or nervous because you have to do it with someone you don’t like?

I couldn’t possibly recognize the feelings I felt. It was puzzled, bizarre, confusing emotions. I know I should have stopped this long ago. I stopped, you know. I held back myself from giving attention to you and I know I’m treating you like a stranger but I’m still aware of you. And I’m aware on everything you do to her.

W0W, I wrote this on the 17th of February. I can still remember that pang in my heart. I fell but right now, I’m happy. I know the happiness won’t last long but please, let me be happy. Just this once.

(c) to the photo