Earlier this day, I went to the clinic and finally after waiting for hours, I finally got my teeth checked. But that’s not what this entry is all about. This is about how a certain thing touched my heart today..
We’re not really close friends but you can probably call us friends. She’s not that sociable and maybe she has her own reasons but few months ago, I asked her to paint me something (I would pay her though) and she said okay. She keeps on asking me if what scene or subject do I like but honestly, I don’t really know what I like. I tend to appreciate less the things that I already know than surprises so I told to paint something that means to her or really came from her heart.
I want you to make something that you really love to paint. I don’t want to force you to paint just because that’s why I like. That’s not my purpose.
That’s what I told her. I felt her uneasiness that time haha. Months passed by and I totally forgot about our deal until last night, she messaged me and asked me on how would she be able to deliver the painting to me. I was shocked for it didn’t come to my mind.
So here it goes, I went to school earlier (after I got my braces checked) to give some money to my friend (bumili kasi ako ng damit sa kanya haha). There her friend, gave something rectangle covered with manila paper and I realized it’s the painting. I was supposed to thank her personally but my friends saw me and started gathering around. My other friend also gave me a book (It’s See Me by Nicholas Sparks!!!) I wasn’t really expecting it thoouuughhh!!! I immediately walked out of the school after giving the money despite my friends asking me to stay and eat lunch there (It’s Christmas Party in our school and I didn’t attend for in our religion, we don’t celebrate Christmas so that’s why)
When I was inside the car, I opened the manila paper and saw the painting. I don’t know why but the first time I laid my eyes on it, something twitched inside. It’s touching. And my heart melted more when I read her messages. She even made a poem and wrote it on the back of the canvas entitled My Memory. This is why I wanted her to make something that she love. It’s not just a mere painting, it’s a sneak peak of a person.
“Painting is poetry that is seen rather than felt, and poetry is painting that is felt rather than seen.” ― Leonardo da Vinci
Her painting speaks a thousand unspoken words. I believe that there are many interpretations and perceptions about a certain art but for me, her painting is about a girl who is afraid to let go of the past. The girl keeps on reliving the memories to keep her alive; for her, it’s the only thing that she can hold on to. The coldness of the snow that dropped on her felt nothing compare to the coldness deep inside her. She’s as cold now as her cold, old, past memories.
But as she closed her eyes, she realized how long she has been living backwards. She needs to get out of the place; she needs to free herself. And she hoped that her decision now would lead to good things.
I can’t help but to compare myself to her painting. I am also imprisoned about the past. I keep on refreshing it inside my mind which is the reason why it would take me time to move on from an old friend. I think it’s the only way to make myself feel better for the present happenings are no good. But I don’t know what happened that one day, I just thought that maybe it’s time to move on from the past. To take a step forward and sacrifice myself fully to the present. I realized that I’ve been holding on to the past so much I already slipped my hand from the future.
But fact check, all this time she isn’t hitting me personally, she’s talking about herself. What she wrote is true, that we share the similar fears of the future ahead. She said that maybe two years from now we will go on different paths and she wants to make this painting as her last token; as my memory of her.
I was touched on how a classmate I’m not even close with seemed to know more about myself. I love this painting not just because the materials she used are expensive but it’s because of the thoughts, the deep thoughts hidden behind this. There might be words spoken and written here, but I know, that as the years passed by and the longer I lay my eyes on here, there would always be new meanings.
Thank you, for making this for me. It might not be for free, but it’s definitely worth it.
P.S Here’s her painting though (I covered her signature for some privacy hehe)