I woke up Friday morning feeling exhausted. I didn’t have enough energy to stand up and take a bath. I DONNNTTTT HAVE ENOUGH REASONS TO GO! But I should show up in school for I still have a performance to do. I still have to act like a crazy woman. Yes. Crazy. I spent the night before contemplating if I can act smoothly in front of many people. Students and their parents will be there so I couldn’t believe the fact that I will act with such a crowd! That’s way beyyyoooonnnddd of my comfort zone.
I prepared my clothes. We need to bring a filipino attire and on the afternoon we need to wear our P.E uniform for there is an event but we have to go to school wearing our speech choir costume. Nothing’s more tiring for me that time.
I was comfortable with my white t-shirt and jeans. As we arrived at school, I saw people running and don’t have time to chat with the people they encountered with. I saw teachers with their students decorating the stage. We were all busy about the upcoming event.
I reached the room and some were just chilling while the others were making props. I saw some students who were frowning. Ahhh I know, because they got kicked out of the speech choir. But we’ll still have the same grade tho they will only carry the props.
They were frustrated. They couldn’t believe they were kicked after practicing for the speech choir. They were angry. They were punching the chairs and if looks could kill, we were already dead that time. We didn’t have any choice to continue and prepare for we will perform first. We practiced for the last time and prayed. Prayed for a good performance and for them to understand why they got kicked out.
I couldn’t chill. My heartbeat was way too fast that I need to play Welcome To The Black Parade by My Chemical Romance to calm my nerves (that song helps me get through a bad day).
We wore our props and walked our way to the gym. They were so many people. They were all chatting that it was so noisy. We were assigned to stay at the second floor and we tried to have fun. Then suddenly, it was already our time to perform.
Walking down the stairs, I was practicing in my head my act.
Will I deliver it nicely?
Can I do it?
Before the performance I kept asking my classmates if I can do it and they will all answer I can. But still it didn’t boost my confidence.
While performing, I did my best not commit any mistakes. We were all saying the words out loud. We only had two microphones and it didn’t function properly! I can sense the silence of the people, their effort to listen to us. Too many eyes were watching that the shyness I was trying to keep, exploded. We did our final line and it was my time to act. I don’t know how I did my act. How I managed to roam around and trying to act like a crazy woman.
I felt the humiliation after performing. I saw my teachers grinning at me and all I was able to do was to cover my face . But it was not the end of my day. It was just the beginning.
We have to wear our filipino attire immediately for our Filipino teacher will grade us. We dressed inside the room and almost all the girls were there. We didn’t care if the other girls will see us on our bras or what, the only thing we had on our minds was to changed.
Some were having a hard time fitting their dress. I was already sitting, chilling for the first time of the day while the others were still preparing.
We looked like we have another presentation to do. Some were asking if we will dance and I couldn’t help but laugh (kuyaw hahaha). We went back to our place (at the second floor) and watched the others performed. I appreciated the effort everyone exerted at the event. I saw the admiration from the eyes of the audience and parents proudly filming their children.
I thought maybe that would also be the reaction of my parents every time I received an award. I’m not really into medals or honours. As much as possible, I want a simple life that almost everyone doesn’t know I exist but when I saw the smile on their faces, I suddenly wanted to make my family proud. To make them smile like that in front of me.
It was already ten in the morning and were still standing. My friend already got himself a chair And I was so jealous :(. I was already tired and I can’t wait for the program to end. Finally, we all decided to go to our teacher and ask permission to rest in our room. Thankfully,she agreed and as fast as I could, I went to our classroom to sit and change my dress for I was wearing a baro’t saya and believe me, it was not a comfortable dress.
I wore my P.E jogging pants and decided to wear my white t-shirt , again. I saw students passing by our room ( maybe the program ended already). We bought our lunch and ate at the classroom. All were trying to relieve the stress for the speech choir was done! We were playing cellphone games, listening to music, and some were talking. Few minutes after, I felt how tired I was. I wanted to sleep but my classmate announced that we will be having the Time- Out event. Forgive me for saying but I was exhausted that I didn’t want to go. But I thought “what if it will be fun again like the last week” so I guess I must go.
I entered the computer room and they were flocking in a very crowded way. Unlike last week, the chairs were not arranged properly and students from the other section joined. Pastor Paul was performing his trick and he finally did it right! He explained to us how he did it but I didn’t understand haha.
After the trick, he read a bible verse and the session began.
We should not be slaves to sin
He told us how a bad person changed his life. I felt my eyes closing on its own but I still listened to pastor and tried to stop myself from sleeping. I watched my classmates trying to do the same thing as me. We were all tired from the presentation and the morning program that we almost wanted to lie down. Thankfully the session ended great and Pastor Paul told us to remind him on Monday about the rope he will give us for our collection.
I immediately sleep once we arrived at the room, I was really tired. Some were also sleeping. Someone suddenly gave me a paper. It was an attendance sheet. I thought our presence was enough but no, we have to play the games for our grades. I was frustrated. It was all about the grades again!
I really thought it would be boring and no fun. But I was wrong.
I saw students flocking by grade and surrounded the court. The first event was palo-sebo and everyone will witness it. A teacher was announcing the participants and we cheered for our representative. We were all excited! I finally felt the hype inside of me! There were P50 , P100, and P300 attached to the bamboo arranged according to their value. The 300 was on the top and it looks easy to me before someone put oil around the body of bamboo. I realised how hard it would be and I heard the were cursing. Haha!
This is exciting!
I murmured to my self.
The grade 7 representative tried and failed. The grade 8 representative failed at the first two times his feet touched the ground. On his last chance, he got the P50 by jumping from the ground lol.
Annnnnnnnndddd it was our representative’s turn! We were cheering! Trying to motivate him. But sadly, he failed ,though he made us laugh during his funny moments while trying to reach for the prize 😂
A grade 10 student was able to get the P100 by pouring something over the oil. (okay pala ganon? 😦 ) I was not able to finish watching the grade 11 representative for we had to prepare for the next game Patintero.
Maybe that’s how life is. We have to do something, trick the fate maybe, to survive. To catch the prize. To succeed. Maybe we have to learn the ideas of life, it’s secrets to be able to trick it. But we couldn’t. We couldn’t trick life for life has been the one tricking us.
It was the boys who played patintero first so on the other court, the girls will play Kub-Hayang. It was 15 G-9 vs 15 G-10. I literally didn’t know how to play the game but they said it’s just an easy game so I played. It turned out that it was just easy! We just had to be alert and definitely know how to run. It was really fun until I felt my heart twitching. I had to massage it gently for me to normalise my breath. But I couldn’t. I kept on catching my breath but I was still in the middle of the game so continued running.
Finally it ended with us winning and I immediately sat in the corner. I thought I couldn’t breathe any more! I was still catching my breath when I noticed something. My hands were shaking, uncontrollably. My sweat was dripping and I felt the hotness of the sun to my skin.
That’s the thing I hate about playing. I can’t remember anything about catching breaths and shaking hands when I was a kid. So I don’t have any idea why that happened.
I couldn’t play the patintero anymore. My breathing was still not normal when they called for me. They were outnumbered and it was time to play the game. I didn’t have any choice, I have to play again.
The G-10 girls took revenge and won against us. I couldn’t feel the regrets that time for all I wanted was to rest. The shaking didn’t stop and I was worried if it will go on forever.
I finally breathed normally and the shaking lessen. There was still another game the Ligid- Relay. I didn’t want to play anymore but again, they were outnumbered.
The girls must push the wheel for it to roll and will turn around to give the wheel to the next player; but the boys must use the stick. It should be alternate so a boy first then next is a girl and so on.
I was nervous. I didn’t have any experiences about playing it. It was my turn and I just laughed because sometimes I couldn’t control the wheel and it would turn to another place haha!
BUT, We got the second place!! And finally, the event ended. Our adviser told us we must clean first before leaving. It was quarter to 5 when we finished everything and i texted my father to fetch us. We took some pictures and I noticed how dirty my shoes was (which I washed the night before huhu) . It was filled with dirt and the colours were fading. I should feel disturbed that time but I didn’t. I love how the dirt lingered on my shoes. It feels like an evidence to me about how I enjoyed everything. We weren’t able to take pictures while playing. Not able to video anything but it was one of the best moments in my life.
I now believe that you less appreciate moments where you took sooooo many photos. It’s okay to take photos for concrete memories but for me, nothing compares to those memories I’ve had to the time where we didn’t care about taking too much photos at all.
I hope the students would appreciate the Buwan ng Wika Celebration. It was created for us to admire our culture and traditions and it’s not just about playing instruments or singing Filipino songs but it is also about bonding with your friends without thinking of your cellphones and to experience moments similar to what our ancestors or parents experienced before.
I never appreciated Buwan Ng Wika events before but now, I guess I will look forward to it every year.
“Wika ng Karunungan”