How’s my 2017?

I am very late this year, I know. I was not able to compose before the new year’s eve because I was really tired that time after helping in our family business and I just spent the remaining hours outdoor. 2017 was truly a rollercoaster ride with full of ups and downs that’s why I wouldn’t let the year pass by without me writing any entry about it. So here it is, how’s my 2017?

2017 was both my worst and best year. It started with a sweet kind of aura, since there were only 3 months left of my grade 9 journey (in leyte). I could say the remaining 3 months were all amazing. I’ve experienced love from my friends, as well as love from a special someone and I would not trade anything for those moments. Yet, at the middle of the year, I was transferred back to Tagum and literally finished my 4-year stay in Bato.

That was the worst thing ever. Alien faces, way too different hobbies and schoolmates, plus the stressful school. Even though it is already 2018, I can say I’m still not able to fully adjust in my current school. Me and my dad were frequently fighting during my first 3 months because I became so lazy the school already sent us this letter about my so-called “tardiness”. I never liked it there. After the school hours, I immediately went home without having any plans of interacting or bonding with my new classmates.

I can still remember how annoyed I am with them every time even though they did not do anything to annoy me. Not until journalism happened that I was able to find my rhythm and finally had an excuse not to participate with any of their school works. Journ started in september and since then we barely walked in our classes. We were always excused, then still take the exams without even knowing what’s the coverage.

I do not have a single idea why I was still the first honor in the classroom during the second quarter despite of not entering the class. Being the second honor in the overall honoring is already an achievement yet most of them were shocked why I was not the first honor ugh. I honestly could not survive my grade 10 journey without my journalism family.

On the other hand, 2017 definitely challenged me to the highest level. It triggered my safe choices and me want to take more of risky moments. Staying in your comfort zone is, of course, safe yet it will never upgrade you. I did not became a risk-taker wholly but I think I must say I am starting to become one slowly. It was never a smooth journey, with all the lapses and the like, but I am just happy that the discomforts and strangeness were not successful control me and my self-thinking.

I’ve made mistakes this year and will still make one or more through the following years but I just want to say that those mistakes will not hinder you for saying ,” This is my best year.” We all were not instructed to make a perfect year, yet, we ourselves know that we must make a fulfilling year ahead.

At the end part of my entry, i just want to give this paragraph for the people who made this year a loveable and enjoyable one for me. To my Leyte squad, who I felt the sincerity all throughout the year, thank you to you all and for never failing on making me happy even though we communicate the most online. To my journalism family which broke down gender and age disparity, you guys definitely highlighted my grade 10 journey. To my family, let’s keep on fighting and fighting!

For my 2018, I just want to say

More happens the less you expect

I just want to keep on doing what I love and to never settle for anything less. I want to improve myself more and my perspective onto things because I am no kid anymore. I just wish that with all the things I’ve learned, I will use it as an instrument to overcome another year.

Let us make the past year a template for new beginnings and a lesson as we begin a new chapter. Change what you want to change and not what the society tells you to change. Cheers to a more fulfilling and loved year in front of us. Hoping for a more understanding people and less judgmental society. Start the year with a brimming smile and an anticipating heart- because you are not supposed to be ready for surprises, right?

 

Love you all! (If there are still people who read my post)

 

 

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Behind the ink

I’ve always loved writing. This blog is the concrete evidence on how passionate I am with my every entries or write-ups that’s why when my school made us choose on what club to join, I chose journalism.

What’s funny is that my mindset before circulated about this foolish idea that journalism is all about literary entries (e.g poems, comics, and etc). When we first had a meeting (that was July) I’ve never thought there are different sections in journalism and that it is all about issues, never flowery words or literary fictions.

I was shocked. Was too ignorant, yet I grabbed the chance. Months passed and September came, time to prepare for the upcoming DSPC Contest. Supposed to be a screening within the people who volunteered must happen but due to a few students who participated, we were immediately assigned on where particular section we want to write. Continue reading “Behind the ink”

The Sunday Currently | 07

Hello! What’s up to all the people (as if someone would really read my post lol). It has been so long since my last Sunday Currently entry and I was still in Grade 9 that time. I’m Grade 10 now! So I was pretty busy these past few days and I kind of missed writing that’s why I’m back at it again. Now, how’s my Sunday Afternoon?

CURRENTLY

Reading

Just like on the featured image, I was reading Lang Leav’s The Universe of Us and finished it before making an entry. Ugh, the words used by Lang Leav fill my bones and stunned me like a thunderbolt. She was right, words are really your power.

I recommend you guys to read Lang’s pieces, there are all absolutely and certainly amazing!

P.S Just prepare a dictionary beside you. Sometimes her words are so deep my mere mind cannot not take it all.

Writing

This post

Listening

The noises created by the workers outside. I opened my window kasi so I could really hear all those sounds.

But with exception to the noises, I am, of course, listening to Ed Sheeran! Who would not listen to him, anyway? Oh Ed, why you make me feel like I’m falling in love.

 

Thinking

Why Alex&Sierra broke up! Oh nooooo I really couldn’t understand it at first! Why? But at the end of the day, I’m just a fan so I’ll still support them in any ways even if that means supporting them differently.

In other terms, I am also thinking about what will happen tomorrow for our Sabayang Pagbigkas. We need to present it on Tuesday and we still weren’t able to practice! Halp

Smelling

Oh, nothing.

Wishing

To take a break.

Hoping

For a faster week ahead. I want days to catapult before me. I feel like I’m living in a prison without bars and all it takes to find solace is to witness those stars fall for me.

Wearing

A t-shirt and shorts

Loving

The new words I encountered. Thanks to you Lang.

Wanting

To unwind and more me time.

Needing

Motivation and inspiration. I can feel myself slowly losing that eagerness and excitement in anticipating mornings. Mornings meant new life for me, before, but now, it suffocate me. The thought of waking up again just doesn’t feel right. I’m on the point of my life where I’m so tired, I am already oblivious. I just want to rest. Please.

Feeling

Downcast.

So this is me today, How about you?

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Happy 16th, Self

It’s 10:12 and two more hours and its the end of my happy day. I was already going to sleep but I don’t want to end this day without writing.

As usual, people greeted me today. I know that it might only be a simple greetings to others but it really gave me a pinch of happiness. The thought that they really made time just to type those things and remembered my day, ugh it feels good.

Honestly, this day became extra special to me. I don’t know but “that” message made my day. It was sent at exactly 12 midnight and I hated myself for feeling kilig the moment I read it. Whyyy, why do you have to make me feel kilig the whole day? It’s terrifying to feel this way.

Buuut, so much for that. Since this is my day, I just want to typically talk about myself.

Last year was a rocky one. It definitely challenged my self-worth and my decision-making. I’ve experienced so many things with so many people that I couldn’t put it into words. To summarize it all, it was an upside down journey but thank you to the people who didn’t give up on me and still saw my potential and appreciated my flaws.

Before this day ends, I want to thank all the people who greeted me with love and sincerity. Those are for keeps. Thank you also for the people who made this day shine brighter for me. Though the past days were pretty stressful, you guys diverted my mood.

Lastly, Thank you, self, for surviving the past 15 years. We’ re gonna past through this year again and I hope that regardless of the circumstances, you’ll still be here fighting for your self. 🙂

Nostalgia

As I listened to 2013 songs, it brought back memories. Memories that I shouldn’t remember nor recall but what can I do? Do I have to hit my head against the wall to forget all those things? I can’t. I won’t.

I felt the coldness of your hands and I thought maybe your heart is as cold as that hand. I don’t want to keep those fragrant moments, if possible I want to erase them immediately, but there’s something about your trembling hands that made my mind travel back to that exact time of our lives.

Why feel nervous all of a sudden? Nervous about the people watching? Or nervous because you have to do it with someone you don’t like?

I couldn’t possibly recognize the feelings I felt. It was puzzled, bizarre, confusing emotions. I know I should have stopped this long ago. I stopped, you know. I held back myself from giving attention to you and I know I’m treating you like a stranger but I’m still aware of you. And I’m aware on everything you do to her.

W0W, I wrote this on the 17th of February. I can still remember that pang in my heart. I fell but right now, I’m happy. I know the happiness won’t last long but please, let me be happy. Just this once.

(c) to the photo

 

Touch

So I checked my drafts and WHAT IS THIS?!

-170217-

Surrounded by fancy dresses

And fake people.

I stood closer

‘Till the touch of your skin.

Fighting if I should

But in the end I did

what was told.

I touched your trembling hands,

Touched your soft skin,

But never touched your heart.

The Sunday Currently | 06

It has been a while since I posted. Lately, I couldn’t think right about things like there has been so much that happened. Also, the projects and schoolworks are no joke this time around for only few weeks left and I could finally say ba-bye to my 10-month Junior HighSchool. So I felt bored watching tv so I decided to compose a Sunday Currently entry at a Sunday evening (which is very rare). Okay let’s start; How is my Sunday Evening?

CURRENTLY

Reading

I’m not really reading anything but after posting this, I’m gonna read my notes during our Physics class. Oh Science, why are u such a heartbreak?

Writing

This post

Listening

Hypnotised by Coldplay. Not a big fan of them but they are really a fantastic band.

And oh, have you guys heard ed’s divide??? All songs are fantastic!! FANTASTIC! Perfect is my favorite so far (Though I already listened to 98% of his album’s songs)

Thinking

If what might happen after Grade 9. And also if what might happen this week. Seriously tho I have this feeling like something happened and I do not have any idea about it. Like everyone has been keeping secrets from me and they are just waiting for it to uncover on its own and for me to discover it myself. Ugh I hate this.

Smelling

Noooothing

Wishing

To be able to finish a book!!

Hoping

For us to finish our Noli Me Tangere filming annnd for me to know what’s this secret is all about.

AND for us to have a successful AP symposium. Goodluck Team Agriculture!

Wearing

Pajamas and some sleeveless shirt.

Loving

It took me a while to write something for this. Ugh I don’t know I can’t think of something that I love.

Wanting

Books and More kdramas

Needing

Some talks and meditations. Its been days since I endure this heavy heart and I want to unfold this mystery already. PLEASE, I want to know what all of this is about. You all have been weird lately around me and everytime I ask about it you guys would just reply with ,”Its not the right time yet.”

What is it and why do it seems like its such a painful truth? From the way you all are trying to hide it and from the way you all are acting.

Feeling

Heavy. So heavy that I couldn’t force myself to be productive at this crucial time.

So this is my heavy Sunday evening, How about yours? Join us!

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